Wow, what to say? Obviously, I have a lot to say to you... 18 years worth and counting. The first thing, and hopefully the most meaningful, I must say is I'm sorry for my failure as your father: I know apologies come cheap in our culture, but let me explain: as I have grown and matured from the selfish little boy who knocked up your mother, I have come to know that the person most responsible for a child, most obligated to support and protect them, and the person most guilty when a child is neglected is his/her father. I made the wretched mistake of biting off way more than I could chew by conceiving a child I could not support financially, emotionally, or any other way. I was not prepared to commit to your mother in marriage, yet selfishly thought I deserved the benefits of such a commitment. When you think about why you were given up for adoption (probably painfully), why you did not grow up with your biological parents, the person you can and should blame the most is me. That is why I'm humbly asking for your forgiveness.As a result, the best thing your mother and I could do was to find a couple who could raise you, who had wisely prepared themselves for children with a stable marriage and prosperous careers. We chose the folks you have called Dad and Mom, your parents in every sense of the word but the least important (biologically). I have watched you from afar: your parents have been very kind to send many pictures over the years; you probably would recognize most of them! From everything I've heard in their letters and seen, you have had a healthy, normal childhood; this is exactly the outcome your biological mother (her name is Angila Watson) and I hoped for.
Assuming you can extend forgiveness to me, I would love to get to know you: your goals and
The single most important event of my life was precipitated by a new coworker; I had been raised in a religious home and was very knowledgeable about the Bible, but obviously left any semblance of morality behind when I left my parent's home. I was, oddly enough, attending a church, but a more hypocritical man you couldn't find: the pretense of religiousness I put forth for a couple hours on Sunday ended the moment I got
It's been quite a ride since then: I got married, inherited 2 stepsons, became a bus driver, and had a little girl with my wife. My family life has been the best way God has taught me about myself and
I don't know how you're feeling, or what you've thought or wondered about your origins; if you are not interested in connecting with me and my family, I certainly won't pass judgment or think less of you. As I started with, the person most responsible for the distance between us looks at me in the mirror, so I don't think you're obligated to welcome me with open arms. I do hope that you can forgive me, and are curious about where you come from; I will respect any decision you make.