The Worst Slur Ever...

     I started a post on 2 Cor (long overdue!), and then was blown away by the most memorable, blatantly offensive accusation by my less-than-Friendly Neighborhood Atheist;  he'd made hints and veiled allusions on this topic before, but this day I was taken aback by the blatant, X-rated insult this man made at the Person of Jesus Christ.  It's so bad I can't actually relate it (Eph 5:4, 12)... I guess the best way to give context is to ask you to imagine an individual who utterly hates God ascribing to His Son the vilest, pornographic intent.  As I tell FNA, I was speechless;  I had no meaningful, truth-conveying response.  I could only gape.  So this is an excerpt from an email, my best after-the-fact attempt to prove something I hope you never encounter:  a slur based on the supposed homosexuality of Jesus.

FNA,

    I gotta admit... you've danced around accusing Jesus of homosexuality before, but I was not expecting the offensive situation you described in profane terms.  Congratulations, I was a bit shocked.  You often switch between arguing a non-theist position and a Roman Catholic one (like yesterday);  how many Roman Catholics would be appalled by that insinuation?  So I'm writing to give you the answer I couldn't yesterday...
     So you also challenged me to prove that Jesus wasn't homosexual, which is another first for me.  Of all the objections to Christianity/the Bible, that's not one I run across much.  After some thought, I can prove beyond a reasonable doubt (is your doubt reasonable?) that Jesus was not gay or involved in homosexuality, and I can do so from the biblical characters who hated him most... the Pharisees.
     These guys despised Jesus for His claims to authority, His popularity and His undeniable power over Which one of you convicts me of sin?" (Jn 8:46).

What lawyer would ignore the strongest evidence?

sickness and demons.  They were the ones, under the High Priest Caiaphas, who orchestrated the trial that ended in the Crucifixion.  The Pharisees had accused Jesus of several things:  dalliance with demons (Mt 12:24), breaking the Sabbath (Mk 3:1-6), and finally blasphemy and plotting to destroy the Temple (Mt 26:61, 65).  None of these things were true, of course, but if you read one of the gospel accounts (have you ever done that?), you are constantly peppered with the Pharisees, scribes and rulers' attempts to concoct any excuse to denounce and execute Jesus.  But for three years, they are unable to do so... no charge would stick!  According to the law, Jesus lived a blameless life, so much so that he could ask (with the expectation of deafening silence in reply) "
     So in a strictly religious, fundamental society where working on the Sabbath was a grievous crime, if Jesus was involved in any sort of homosexuality, why wouldn't His mortal enemies use that as ammunition against Him?  In a society where adultery was punishable by death (Jn 8:1-11), how in the world would a famous man like Jesus be gay and not be executed, as the Law of Moses required?  That was exactly the sort of immorality the Pharisees would drool over, not only to discredit Him, but to drag Him out of the city and stone Him.  Even Herod the king couldn't get away with sexual impropriety without public outcry (Mt 14:3-4).  Instead, Jesus's enemies had to pay people to fabricate crimes against Him, something completely unnecessary if sodomy was an element in the life of Jesus.  So your accusation presupposes religious authorities that are far more open-minded and tolerant of homosexuality than even us crazy fundamentalists today!  You must see that historically, first century Israel was anything but welcoming toward a sexual orientation with Canaanite cult associations and Greek mythological ties... most Jews of the day (especially the pious ones) were fiercely xenophobic and disapproving of anything that hinted of foreigners.

Something you'd never see in Jerusalem...

      So it's clear you've painted yourself into a corner;  you can't just dismiss the Bible as corrupted and unreliable as you've done in the past.  You used information from the Bible (Jesus was surrounded by male disciples, He liked children, etc.) in your accusation!  You can't have it both ways... the Bible can't be reliable enough to throw mud at Jesus, but not reliable enough to exonerate Him.  Since you've already gotten your hands dirty, you must concede that there is no logical reason to think Jesus was homosexual, and every reason not to. 
     The only reason to continue this slander is the atheist's creed, summed up by Doug Wilson:  "There is no God, and I hate Him!"  Admit it... you fervently despise Someone you don't believe exists.

Sincerely,

Brett Schlee

Photos courtesy of Gulliame Paumier, SalFalko